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Essex is the plunge and this is aimed at walt disney in your behavior on a brilliant fiftydating. A new survey has exposed the stark differences between the dating habits of over forties and their younger counterparts. Research by dating app Happn shows that while it takes the younger generation up to three weeks to arrange a date online, over forties are happy to meet each other after just 14 days. Dating expert Hayley Quinn's tips for over 40s. Date out of your usual type.
Would you like to go on a date again with your first boyfriend?
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I didn't think so! Our preferences understandably change as we grow older, so avoid the mistake of looking out for a blueprint of your ex.
Dating out of type and saying yes to people who you wouldn't traditionally have gone on a date with is a good way to re-examine whether your 'type' is as rigid as you thought. Hayley Quinn, a leading dating expert, gave Femail her advice on dating for over forties. Meet people relatively quickly. When you crush with someone you like online, it can be really easy to develop an idea of them in your head before you have actually built a real life connection. Stay safe and meet in a public space, but prioritise doing this early on in the dating process.
This helps you to see whether that connection works just as well offline as it does online. Don't get stuck in the past. It is far too easy in a social media world to look up former partners on Facebook, and wonder what might have been. Again though, by checking up the younger generation would call this 'creeping' on your ex's profile it keeps you stuck in the past, and can prevent you from being open minded to new opportunities.
Get out of the house. Offline dating is back, but that doesn't have to mean meeting in a bar. If you long for an era before instant messaging don't forget that people still like to meet in real life. It can be about making simple swaps like taking your book to a coffee shop to read, or your laptop to a nice cafe to get out of the house and into contact with more people you could connect with.
Smile, make eye contact, and remember not to put your bag down on the seat next to you.
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If you find that you always manage to choose the 'wrong type' of person for you then you may need to spend longer getting to know someone before jumping into a relationship. Taking up a hobby whether that's a language, art or dance class can be a great way to build new social circles and get to know someone slowly.
If you find your social life has fallen by the wayside since your friends have coupled up then now is also a good time to not just refocus on dating but also to rebuild your social circles. If you turn up to an event or that dance class and realise that there's no 'potentials' there, instead of feeling flat use this as an opportunity to build new social links and contacts.
Happn has exposed the dating habits of over forties
This will refresh your social circles with new supportive relationships of people who are on the same path as you. Think carefully about what qualities to look out for. If you're using an online dating app it can be tempting just to think 'yes' to the person who has the job and look that you like.
Take time to look out for other indicators of compatibility. These could be how often someone messages you, and how easy you find it to chat to them: Make sure someone is prioritising you.
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Whilst it would be strange to jump straight to poll position in someone's life, if you're always the Tuesday evening date, and the person is mysteriously never free at the weekends, watch out! Unfortunately you may encounter more people who have pre-existing relationships in your forties than you did in your twenties. Keep it low key. A dinner date with someone you don't know can end up feeling more high pressure than romantic. Stick to lunch, a quick after work drink or a coffee in the afternoon.
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This also means that you won't feel too nervous, or that you wasted time if you don't click. As Happn's survey says: Sometimes it's nice if someone buys you a coffee, but don't enter dating with an expectation to always be treated. Even if someone is happy to do that, entitlement is never an attractive mindset. Think about how you can co-operate, add value and build a fair partnership instead with someone.
Over 40 Dating: Your Love-Life Begins at Forty!
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